2008 Predictions

Here are my predictions for the coming year:

1. Britney Spears will go pantyless yet again. Britney will decide that there is no such thing as bad publicity and will be showing her pubes in the near future. Following in the steps of her new BFF, that skank Paris Hilton, Spears will also be debuting in her own, "I don't know how that video got out," sex tape. Her son will wish she had dropped him so he can find a better place to live because Britney goes pantyless at home as well, watches the sex tape of her and kevin and cries over her loss.

2. Nicole Richie and Paris have not only made up but they too will be coming out with pics of them getting very cozy. They will then break up and Paris will come out with yet another album dissin Nicole. Words like, "she's only famous because of me, she's so jealous of my fame, and she's really a black person trying to pass for white will be sprinkled throughout the lyrics.

3. Little Kim will be stalked by her jailhouse girlfriend. Little Kim, was once asked by Howard Stern if she knew what muff-diving was and answered no, but after her jail time definitely knows what it is now and will continue to enjoy it in the future.

4. That zombie, Michael Jackson will have yet more surgery. Mr. Jackson who believes boys only want to be loved will be caught up in yet another child sex scandal. Not only will he flee the states but he will dye his hair blond, put in blue contacts and have longer facial hair implants to make him look more like a white man.

5. Oprah will come out of the closet. She will admit to being a straight woman, playing a lesbian, playing a straight woman. Confused? So is Oprah.

6. More and more celebrities will adopt African babies to show how open-minded they are. Black babies are the new toy poodles. Gucci will make a special African-baby carrier so celebs can carry their new pet around with them where ever they go.