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2011 Predictions
1. You will continue to read my blog and enjoy it. Ha ha ha
2. Bieber Fever will continue. Unfortunately!
3. I will meet a middle aged man in the street who will whisper cumquat as he passes. Later I will meet a blond haired little girl with one blue eye and one brown eye who will sneeze three times. When I look over at her she will grin and reveal sharpened teeth. Still later I will encounter a shiny rock on the floor of my apartment. Perplexed as to how it got there, I will google the rock type only to be frustrated by the lack of information available. One night I will have a very vivid dream in which a two feet little person mocks me in public and throws the rock at me. I will wake up in a sweat wondering what it all means.
4. Byonce and Jayzee will still not have any children. Rumours will spread that it’s because she loves him but doesn’t trust him. She has an underlying fear that all men will turn out to be like her father.
5. The white celebs adopting black babies trend will continue. Black babies will come out of black womens’ vaginas saying, “wah, I want a rich white mommy.” The trend will become so popular that black women will give birth in the front windows of Macy’s department store. White women will drive by in their limos to pick up their new “guaranteed more publicity baby”. Poparazzi will be on hand to take the first “I am on the cover of InTouch with my black baby” photo.
6. The people who put Obama in office will wonder if he has served his purpose as the token black and will begin to take steps to remove him. Future candidates will use the America is so progressive, we elected a black president, agenda to win votes. Meanwhile there won’t be another black president for 50 years.
7. People will realize just how many hermaphrodites exist when pictures from airport scanners are leaked on the internet.
2. Bieber Fever will continue. Unfortunately!
3. I will meet a middle aged man in the street who will whisper cumquat as he passes. Later I will meet a blond haired little girl with one blue eye and one brown eye who will sneeze three times. When I look over at her she will grin and reveal sharpened teeth. Still later I will encounter a shiny rock on the floor of my apartment. Perplexed as to how it got there, I will google the rock type only to be frustrated by the lack of information available. One night I will have a very vivid dream in which a two feet little person mocks me in public and throws the rock at me. I will wake up in a sweat wondering what it all means.
4. Byonce and Jayzee will still not have any children. Rumours will spread that it’s because she loves him but doesn’t trust him. She has an underlying fear that all men will turn out to be like her father.
5. The white celebs adopting black babies trend will continue. Black babies will come out of black womens’ vaginas saying, “wah, I want a rich white mommy.” The trend will become so popular that black women will give birth in the front windows of Macy’s department store. White women will drive by in their limos to pick up their new “guaranteed more publicity baby”. Poparazzi will be on hand to take the first “I am on the cover of InTouch with my black baby” photo.
6. The people who put Obama in office will wonder if he has served his purpose as the token black and will begin to take steps to remove him. Future candidates will use the America is so progressive, we elected a black president, agenda to win votes. Meanwhile there won’t be another black president for 50 years.
7. People will realize just how many hermaphrodites exist when pictures from airport scanners are leaked on the internet.
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