My Lesbian Landlord: Gloria Rheinbergs (dreadlock old bitch)

Incident #1:

The first weekend I moved in I invited her down for a pancake breakfast. Just trying to be neighbourly. I knew her from work and thought I'd maintain a landlord/friendly relationship. I didn't know at the time she was a lesbian. She sat down and told me that the dyke march was that day. I said, "the what?". She said, "the dyke march". I hadn't heard the term dyke for some time so I didn't recognize it. I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, so I said, "what's that?" She said, "the lesbian march, where they march for their rights." All I could say was "Oh". All I thought was, What the eff do I care about some friggin lesbian march? If you think I am going to some dyke march with you, you better put out your crack pipe because that ain't happening. It was at that point I decided the landlord/ friendship thing was definitely not going to be happening. Gross. I had a 60 something year old lesbian for a landlord.

Incident #2

She knocked at my door one night and I said, "Hang on minute, I'm not dressed." She replied, "that's okay with me." That was so gross. I swear to God if she had ever touched me I would have knifed her. Honestly I don't know how I didn't knife her.

Incident #3

I came home one day and she said, "Oh by the way I had to go into the apartment today because something had to be fixed." I thought, bitch aren't you supposed to give me 24 hours notice before you enter the premises? That totally creeped me out. Some lesbian in my apartment when I'm not there. I just pictured her going through my underwear drawer. It was so totally disgusting. The fact that she didn't mention this repair before made me suspicious. I decided right there and then to install my alarm system. I had one but figured I didn't need it since there was always someone around but now that some old lesbian was entering my apartment without my permission meant I needed to be protected. I installed the alarm right away. Boy did she complain. She just kept griping about the alarm system. What if she needed to get into the apartment? I explained that the alarm did not prevent her from entering the apartment. Yes it would go off letting me know SOMEONE had been in the apartment but it does not prevent her from entering the apartment. She was so angry. I didn't understand why she was so angry that I put in an alarm. Except for the fact that she wouldn't be able to get her lezzie hands on my panties.

Incident #4

She knocked on my door one night and I, without thinking, went outside to talk to her. I wear skirts all the time and have the habit of taking off my skirt when I get home and just leaving my slip on. I had done that and not thinking went outside to speak to her. The slip was black and I figure it looked just like a skirt, what was the big deal. Anyway the big deal was that the outside light was behind me making the slip totally see through. She kept staring down and I wondered why. I glanced down only to realize you could see through the slip. I moved forward so that she would be forced to look up at my face, only to have her move back. Every time I moved forward, she moved back. It was one of THE most disgusting things I have ever had happen to me in my life. The fact that this lesbian kept moving backward so she could look through my slip still gives me the chills every time I think about it. I was so disgusted, I decided right there and then to move out. I started looking for a house right away. I could barely look at that bitch after that. It was soooooo disgusting!!!!!!